Surviving the First Year of Marriage

Skill 1. Learn to consult together

As most people are aware, the majority of marriage breaks are a result of terrible communication. Even the repetition of the slightest matters (example accepting invitations without consulting one another) can turn the spouse into an angered volcano ready to errupt.

Try this:

When discussing matters that will affect your marriage mate:

 (1) Explain how you would like to handle the situation, but present your thoughts as suggestions, not final decisions; (2) ask your spouse to express his or her opinion, and acknowledge your spouse’s right to hold a different viewpoint; and (3) let your reasonableness become known by adopting your mate’s preferences whenever possible.

Skill 2. Learn to be tactful.

Depending on your background, you might be in the habit of expressing your opinion firmly, and even bluntly.

Try this:

When you are irritated with your mate, imagine that instead of talking to your spouse, you are conversing with your close friend or an employer. You probably would not use the same tone of voice or same words. Your mate deserves to be spoken to with even more respect and tact then your friend or employer.

Skill 3. Learn to adapt to your new roles

Like everything else, entering in a new marriage is challenging. Both a man and a woman might find it hard to become accostumed to their marital status.

Try this:

Rather than taking note of ways your partner should change, keep a changes "I" need-to-make list.

Learning to maintain a happy, balanced marriage relationship is like learning to ride a bike. You expect some tumbles as you gain confidence as a cyclist. Likewise, you should expect to make some embarrassing mistakes as you gain experience in marriage.